you know from whence I am speaking so please don't go there......
Life is too short as is and yes, sometimes suicide seems really like a good option, I know that, been there, done that, have a nice collection of t-shirts, most have these little ties in the back of them. ;-)
Truth is, you are needed, you are loved, you are important to so many people, don't forget that.
With that, I know you are strong and will make it through this, just keep your chin up, move on forward and things will get better, I promise you that.......and you know I don't break my promises. Time is a great healer and a great teacher, learn and move forward, you have great things ahead of you.