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Waiting In Line to See Star Wars

EVIL
By dirtyhippy42, Section Reviews
Posted on Mon May 23, 2005 at 11:05:39 AM GMT
I thought I'd get an edge over all the other line people who lined up half a day early to see Star Wars by taking a few syringes of methamphetamine along for the wait. Everything was going fine until I was startled whilest having the boot stuck in my arm...

dividing image



The first three hours were pretty bad. Most of the other "Line People" were getting tired of playing with their light sabers and breaking out into histrionic fits of trivia spouting. I thought I'd just pull my arm into my trench coat and squeeze a little juice into my veins. I had just gotten the needle in when I was hit in the back with a plastic light saber.

My arm jerked and I scratched the inside of my vein, I shouted in pain. Anyone watching, and there were a lot of bored jerks in the line, probably thought I was just overreacting or startled by being hit with the sword. I quickly pulled the boot out. The meth had shot to my brain and I was starting to get a bit tweaked up. I accidentallly dropped the syringe and it rolled a few feet away.

A father and son team of StarWars dorks were standing right by where it stopped. They just stared at me, not knowing what to do. Blood started leaking out of my arm and a few drops hit the floor. In my tweaked out state I didn't know what to do so I started raving.

I shouted at everyone in the line. Some people in the line started shouting at me, so I shouted back. This was getting worse and worse and my grip on reality was slipping. Perhaps being hit caused me to shoot a little extra juice into my veins.

There were a lot of fatass trekkies there. One was a dead ringer for jabba the hut. He waddled closer to me, acting assertive but he didn't seem totally confident in himself. He was thinking of trying to stop me. I ran over to him and smacked him across the face. He started crying. People were shouting for security, one woman had gotten out her phone. I was so shocked to see a woman in line to see StarWars that I completely lost it. I ran at nearly light speed, bolted through the doors, jumped into my car, and floored it. I never did get to see the movie, but I doubt I missed much.

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Waiting In Line to See Star Wars | 8 comments (7 topical, 0 hidden)
Public Service Announcement (none / 0) (#7)
by Beef on Wed May 25, 2005 at 07:59:23 PM GMT

Do NOT take your 4-year-old to see Episode III.

When Vader gets consumed by the flames, there were tears in my eyes - not for burning brat, but for the poor kid who started crying her head off.  And those dipsh*t parents make her sit through the whole scene instead of taking her out of the theater like they should have.

And Obi-Wan, WTF?  "I love you like a brother, but I'm going to leave you there so your charred body can suffer in agony instead of swiftly ending it for you."  Great.  Very brotherly.

--
Be conservative in what you do. Be liberal in what you accept from others.



yeah, I had a hard time with that one myself. (none / 0) (#8)
by xxxxxxxxxx on Thu May 26, 2005 at 04:39:48 AM GMT

But then, Obi-wan didn't want to kill Aniken, and I think he thought he was dead...or going to be very shortly.

The whole idea was not to kill him but to try and stop him and hope he would learn something......he did, eventually just before his death in Return of the Jedi.

As for little kids seeing that, well, yeah, it is not a good idea, but if you go back and read the original Hans Christian Anderson fairy tales, Star Wars 3 is really tame.  I think there should be a age limit for that movie, as the violence is pretty strong.  But, I guess it is still up to the individual what they want their kid to see.

I cried myself, because I hated the idea that he suffered and I hated it that Obi-Wan had to the be one to serve the punishment in a way.  It was very sad, the whole movie, but it was supposed to be, it made sense and it put things to rights about what made Aniken become Darth Vader.  You realize that a lot of loss and stress and sadness can push people over the edge.  Even Jedi Knights.  :-)

[ Parent ]



from what i've heard... (5.00 / 1) (#3)
by m0rk on Mon May 23, 2005 at 04:46:50 PM GMT

your line story contains more substance than the film in question.

not to mention, i am just amazed at any one's ability to stick themselves with a needle. truly a matser fo' liev!





That's one rule I've always tried to follow (5.00 / 1) (#4)
by Bold Marauder on Mon May 23, 2005 at 05:31:05 PM GMT

Never ingest substances that could lead to track marks.

--
.-=Welcome to the Vaginal Grid=-.
[ Parent ]


PADME DIES! (none / 0) (#1)
by Bold Marauder on Mon May 23, 2005 at 05:47:04 AM GMT

Spoilers in topic.

Thank you for biting the bullet (or needle, or whatever) so that we could have a valuble glimpse into the sad, amoral lifestyle endured by those trapped in the star wars subculture.

--
.-=Welcome to the Vaginal Grid=-.



disclaimer (none / 0) (#5)
by dirtyhippy42 on Mon May 23, 2005 at 06:35:28 PM GMT

I do not actually use methamphetamine, nor have I ever, nor will I ever. I am a big fan of 3,4-methylenedioxy n-methamphetamine (ecstasy), though!
Better loving through chemistry.
[ Parent ]


I prefer.... (none / 0) (#6)
by News For Turds on Wed May 25, 2005 at 09:57:23 AM GMT

8-methyul-N-vanillyl-6-nonenamide

aka capsaicin

(It's what gives spicy peppers their spiciness)

--
I fucked your mother!
[ Parent ]



Waiting In Line to See Star Wars | 8 comments (7 topical, 0 hidden)
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