I never really thought people would create other spork accounts, although it's rather flattering. The evil_spork account was really my first serious crapflooding account. I hadn't been a Slashdot reader for long, but got bored waiting around in a university computer lab between classes and started browsing the site. While some of the discussion was interesting, a lot of it was just dull, annoying, and posted by people who blindly worship Linus Torvalds as their god. I did find the troll posts amusing and started posting garbage as an anonymous coward. Mostly I posted random angry rants about DMCA worship, links to the now defunct goatse.cx, and other junk for the purpose purely of annoying Slashdot readers. It got really addicting.

That being said, I always found the logged in trolls to be amusing as well. I'd never really thought of creating an account just for the purpose of posting junk, but many before me did. Anyways, I happened to see one day that mackga was proud of getting his account to post at -1 automatically and he was congratulated by someone; cyborg_monkey, I believe, for having reached this promised land of posting junk without fear of IP bans for excessive down moderation. It inspired me to create an account as well, because I'd grown tired of having to move to different computers in the lab to evade IP bans. This probably helped lead to Slashdot banning entire /24 blocks of IPs, but that's another story. In an effort to emulate cyborg_monkey and pig_testicle, both of whose posts I enjoyed, I took the first random noun and adjective that came to mind and put them together. And I had evil_spork. That was my new troll account.

Initially, I just angrily flamed a few people, borrowing from mackga's style, and quickly I too was posting at -1. Shortly after that, I also saw someone claim a first post from an AC and it gave me a good laugh. So I incorporated it into my crapflooding to flame ACs whenever possible. I always assumed that the reason the sporks had a reputation for hating ACs was because so many of the spork accounts had followed in my character and flamed ACs.

One afternoon, maybe a day or two after my account was created, I went to the computer lab and saw that a fellow with the user name benevolent_spork had replied to me and tried to reason with me. I considered keeping with my character and flaming him for being an impostor, but I was somewhat flattered that someone would actually create such an account. I welcomed the companion. Shortly after, I saw him get modded down as well and take up an anger similar to that found in my posts. I found it rather amusing.

Shortly after this, a few other spork accounts started to pop up and the fad was beginning. The rest, at this point, is history.

I'm writing this because I figured someone might find an account of the very beginnings of the spork invasion of Slashdot interesting. I know some of the other sporks are far more well known than I am, and that I've disappeared, but I don't think I've publicly written this story down yet. I also wanted to thank in particular mackga, cyborg_monkey, and pig_testicle because without their artistic influences, there would never have been an evil_spork and never would have been a spork invasion.

I also know that some people will doubt that I am the real evil_spork and will question this post's authenticity. I most certainly am evil_spork, and will certify that this post is genuine by linking to it from evil_spork's journal on Slashdot.