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what a brutha gotta do is what a brutha gotta do
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By m0rk
from the yo brutha, thru n tru, department, Section Opinion & Editorials
Posted on Wed Mar 09, 2005 at 08:21:28 PM GMT
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aight. i'm sitting here, unemployed as a crack addict. hoping unemployment calls back within a few days with some good news. a recent turn of events and i have found another chapter completed.
despite the fact i have no current means of income, every thing is perfect: the fire in the woodstove, the wind is howling outside, it's snowing, i've got the powerbook g4 keeping my lap all warm and i'm watching some shit about Martha. Suddenly, it came to me. I've got a plan. This shit is gonna be tight.
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it looks as if all a person needs to do to be considered what most would call "teflon" - you know, that state where if shit stuck to you it's because you put it there - is get famous, ri-fuckin-diculously famous and stockpile shitloads of cash.
so here's what i'm going to do: i'm going to create an Internet Troll Reality TV show.
by this time next year, you will be tuning in to see me and my friends, who knows, you could be chosen (... and rich!) we will troll, relentlessly, any site who disses us. we will troll all normal sites like slashdot and kuro5hin on camera, and then have secret troll missions that will only get talked about in special segments on each episode. this will not only add to the mystery of what surrounds the Internet Troll Reality TV Show, but it will make us RICH. there will be house rules of using only open source or apple technology only, not showering, wearing pajamas all day, and we will have a (drum roll please) Bill Gates Dartboard. the Bill Gates Dart Board will be its own Internet Troll Reality TV Show segment where we dole out house hold duties depending on individual troll dart scoring skills. viewers will be able to participate by call-voting for who gets eliminated from the Internet Troll Reality TV Show. but we will then troll them in to submission because viewers really won't be able to remove any of the trolls from the Internet Troll Reality TV Show. it's just a participation thing. kind of like slashdot but better - we'll get to make fun of them on camera!
The best trolls each weak, as they will be scored, are rewarded by having sex with a girl of their choice from the cast of CSI. *cough*jorjafox*cough* because we will be rich and they will want Internet Troll Reality TV Show Trolls!
pardon me, i've sort of gotten off track from my original point. you'll have that on these big jobs. where was i? the object of the show will be to troll other reality tv shows due to total gayness. other shows will be powerless against our assault due to the lack of a good troll format like we will have set up. it's all about the interactive viewer participation. <- and using phrases like that. that gets their attention, see. makes 'em think. that's the hook. making people think, meanwhile we get rich. good plan? good plan.
Free! Bonus Tidbit: On Martha
if you're still reading this i'm suprised. right on. read on. Martha. that fuckin' convicted felon is every where. she's even more famous, thus more powerful than ever before!!! again, get rich, make a huge name for yourself, get in some serious trouble, and serve a little time, get back on the streets in no time like nothing ever happened. your worth will skyrocket when you start signing 'what it was like in prison' book deals and you'll be swimming in the money to retire on!
feel free to add any ideas for my multi-billion dollar Internet Troll Reality Tv Show concept. this page will act as our contract since it will be dated and people will see it. get ready to be rich!
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