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Fuck you Tolkien!
By Marco from the rape an hobbit today department, Section Fiction Posted on Mon Mar 01, 2004 at 04:42:08 AM GMT

Just the fact that Lord of the Rings won 11 oscars show how useless is that ceremony. I hate Tolkien SO MUCH! And the 2 movies I've seen (I didn't see the 3rd) were awful.

The books of LoTR are long, archaic and awfully boring, where the main characters are some ugly creatures called hobbits, which are short, sociomatic and superficial beings which totally lack any interest.

But still, it doesn't mean that the movie has to be bad. A good director can enhance the story, by adding things such as character development. But Peter Jackson was so afraid from the rabid Tolkien fans that he sticked to the original plot and concentrated mostly on the big, colossal battles. And it's really, really not fun seeing all that violence. It's not entertainment. It's exahusting!

Luckily this crap is over.. until someone decides to film The Hobbit (which has NO females at all).

In short. Tolkien sucks and must die!!!
Oh. He's dead already. Oh well.

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Poll

Do you agree with Marco?
Yes! LoTR is teh gay!
No. I love the movie!
No. I love the book!
No. I love the movie and the book.
I miss goatse.cx
אני מאוד אוהב חתולים

Votes: 7
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Fuck you Tolkien! | 15 comments (15 topical, 0 hidden)

Yeah, well, (5.00 / 1) (#12)
by Beef on Tue Mar 02, 2004 at 01:33:48 PM GMT

that's just, like, your opinion, man.

--
Be conservative in what you do. Be liberal in what you accept from others.

Wrong. It's a FACT (5.00 / 2) (#13)
by Bold Marauder on Tue Mar 02, 2004 at 07:34:22 PM GMT

Tolkien's wank fest won 11 awards. Sad but true.

I know for my part, I will continue with my boycott of the Oscar Ceremonies.

--
.-=Welcome to the Vaginal Grid=-.
[ Parent ]

I also boycott the Oscar ceremonies (5.00 / 2) (#14)
by PowerSpork 5000 on Tue Mar 02, 2004 at 08:54:50 PM GMT

Since it's just a major-league circle jerk among the "Hollywood Elite".

Why should I give a fuck?

Sporks R Us
The Swiss Army Chainsaw of Flatware Management!
[ Parent ]

If they can't be bothered (5.00 / 1) (#15)
by Bold Marauder on Tue Mar 02, 2004 at 08:57:37 PM GMT

to invite me, I can't be bothered to go.

--
.-=Welcome to the Vaginal Grid=-.
[ Parent ]

hmmm.... (4.16 / 6) (#4)
by NerdGirl on Mon Mar 01, 2004 at 11:12:46 AM GMT

While I generally disagree with your anti-tolkienism, I would agree that the movies could have been better. First off, I too would have liked to see more character development, both in the movies and the books.

While on the subject of character development, I'm going to post my complaint to Peter Jackson here on the web, though I'm certian he'll never see it... What the heck were you thinking when you re-wrote Faramir??? Did the movie not have enough bad guys for you?

Who's dead now?

faramir? (3.33 / 3) (#6)
by Marco on Mon Mar 01, 2004 at 11:49:11 AM GMT

Is that in the 3rd movie? Because I didn't see that..
I believe that without interesting characters, the movie can't be worthy. The characters there are so annoying that I don't care whatever will happen to them.

Oh, and I wonder who zeroed your comment and made it hidden... (eyeing PS5K suspiciously)

- Marco
[ Parent ]

Moi? Suspicious? (3.00 / 2) (#11)
by PowerSpork 5000 on Tue Mar 02, 2004 at 12:33:28 PM GMT

Bzzzzzzt!

I even rated you a '5', because I don't like even hippie fags like you rated unfairly.

Sporks R Us
The Swiss Army Chainsaw of Flatware Management!
[ Parent ]

Fag. (3.00 / 2) (#3)
by PowerSpork 5000 on Mon Mar 01, 2004 at 10:24:59 AM GMT

And it's really, really not fun seeing all that violence. It's not entertainment. It's exahusting!

Fucking hippie queer. We don't watch movies for anything other than entertainment. And entertaining it was.

Go back to Kurodot you ass-goblin.

Sporks R Us
The Swiss Army Chainsaw of Flatware Management!

Ata homo. Lo ani! (1.00 / 2) (#9)
by Marco on Mon Mar 01, 2004 at 12:06:23 PM GMT

First of all, I don't write in k5.

And now... I catch your drift! You're the secret fan of c_m! That's why you mod me down and generally hate me so much.
So puhlease, stop calling me "fag". We both know that your dead bird only wants to cling to c_m's dick. AND BESIDES, LoTR is the perfect fag movie. It barely contains any girls. Only males take the main role, and the fellowship contains nothing but various forms of deformed men. I know you masturbated on it!! Admit it!

- Marco
[ Parent ]

some of us (4.66 / 3) (#2)
by xxxxxxxxxx on Mon Mar 01, 2004 at 09:42:16 AM GMT

enjoy something more than sex and the usual events of the day type movies. I like fantasy, horror and Science fiction because it is imagination at its best. There are no barriers or lines of logic that must be kept to as in reality. It is fun, and sometimes, if you want to look further in depth, is very symbolic.

I respect your opinion, but I happen to be one of the ones who likes Tolkein and many others who have written Fantasy of this type.

But then again, I think with the head on my shoulders, I don't have one between my legs that does my thinking for me.

I like fantasy and sci-fi too (none / 0) (#7)
by Marco on Mon Mar 01, 2004 at 11:52:54 AM GMT

But.. LoTR is a bad type of fantasy. Even Dragon Lance is better.

But then again, I think with the head on my shoulders, I don't have one between my legs that does my thinking for me.

I didn't quite get it.. and I'm afraid to ask. ;)

- Marco
[ Parent ]

Respect J.R.R. Tolkien (none / 0) (#16)
by Fingolfin on Fri Apr 06, 2007 at 05:52:12 PM GMT

What is a good type of fantasy? Stupid Robert Jordan with his gay boring The Wheel of Time? or pathetic Tolkien's dog Stephan King and his SO OVER-RATED The Dark Tower series?
Tolkien wroter the story, he did NOT make the movies you are arguing about. So if you have a problem with the movie, don't blame it on Tolkien. Moreover, you should educate yourself more and read The Silmarillion, Unfinished Tales, The History of Middle Earth and The Children of Hurin. J.R.R. Tolkien has been a divine inspiration to every fantasy writer God's ever created.
Macro, get back to your fatass girlfriend and suck her smelly toes!

[ Parent ]

fp for tolkien haters (5.00 / 1) (#1)
by Bold Marauder on Mon Mar 01, 2004 at 08:38:55 AM GMT

What possessed you to watch the movies? I mean...what were you expecting?

I've successfully avoided seeing all three-and this is dispite giving my brother the twin towers for his birthday.

--
.-=Welcome to the Vaginal Grid=-.

i, too, have not seen (5.00 / 3) (#10)
by handybundler on Mon Mar 01, 2004 at 03:57:19 PM GMT

ANY of them.

[ Parent ]

Well.. (none / 0) (#8)
by Marco on Mon Mar 01, 2004 at 11:57:32 AM GMT

It was because EVERYONE was talking about it. I couldn't do anything about it.. so I had to see it.

The first movie was annoying, but not too annoying. Peter Jackson did modify the story a bit - when one of the hobbits tried to encourage another hobbit to dance with a girl hobbit. (Yes, I read 60% of the first book).

The second movie.. well.. everyone was talking about Gollum, so I had to see him! But it wasn't worth watching the rest of the very, very boring movie (including those idiotic walking trees)

Way to go for avoiding the movies. I commend you.

- Marco
[ Parent ]

Fuck you Tolkien! | 15 comments (15 topical, 0 hidden)

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