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Coming Repulsions

Nap Time
By Beef
from the Scanning IMDb department, Section Strange, but - true?
Posted on Tue Feb 10, 2004 at 03:50:47 PM GMT
The following are real upcoming productions listed in IMDb.  Is it just me, or has the number of sequels, remakes, and adaptations of stupid TV shows and video games grown exponentially since 1998?  Some of these look worthwhile, but most of them look like utter crap:

dividing image



Prepare yourself for:

In 2005:

Bewitched - Starring Nicole Kidman and Will Ferrell

Batman: Intimidation (5) - Starring Christian Bale

The Birth of the Pink Panther - "Starring" Steve Martin as Clouseau

Bond 21 - Still Starring Pierce Brosnan

Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - Starring Johnny Depp as Willy Wonka

Curious George - Starring Will Ferrell as The Man in the Yellow Hat

Daddy Day Camp - Starring Eddie Murphy

Die Hard 4: Die Hardest - Starring Bruce Willis

Dukes of Hazard

Fahrenheit 451 (ok, I admit, I'm actually looking forward to this)

Fantastic Four - Directed by Sean "Samwise" Astin

Fat Albert

Hannibal - Starring Vin Diesel as the titular general

Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire

Hot Wheels (Duplicate entry for Dukes of Hazard, maybe?)

Indiana Jones 4 - Directed by Spielberg (not Lucas) - Starring Han Solo

Jurassic Park 4 - Directed by someone named "Kathleen Kennedy"

King Kong - Directed by Peter "Frodo" Jackson

Mission: Impossible 3 - Starring Tom Cruise and Ving Rhames

Oliver Twist - Directed by Roman "Lolita" Polanski

Pirates of the Caribbean 2 - Starring Depp/Legolas/Knightley

Rush Hour 3 - Starring Chan/Tucker

The Secret Life of Walter Mitty - Starring Jim Carrey as tit(ular) character

The Shaggy Dog (fun with CG effects?) - Starring Tim Allen

The Six Million Dollar Man - Starring Jim Carrey as "Luke Warm" Steve Austin

Spy Hunter - Starring The Rock

The Three Stooges - Directed by Peter "Dumber" Farrelly

The Wallace & Gromit Movie: Curse of the Wererabbit - Directed by Nick Park (ok, so I am also looking forward to this)

Where the Wild Things Are - I called this one, actually.  Except I thought it would be directed by Tim Burton.  It's going to be directed by Spike Jonez.  Not sure which is better.

XXX2 - Starring Ice Cube and Samuel L. Jackson

Zorro 2 - Starring Banderas/Zeta-Jones/Lechter

In 2006:

Carmen Sandiego

Superman - Directed by McG, Possibly starring Beyonce "Harry" Knowles as Lois.

The War of the Worlds - Directed by Timothy Hines, Starring Katie Tomlinson

X-Men 3 - Starring Jean Grey, Nightcrawler, Iceman, Colossus, Cyclops, Rogue, Mystique

Gnomeo and Juliet - Plot Outline: Romance blooms between indoor and outdoor garden gnomes.  Starring Ewan McGregor as Gnomeo, and Kate Winslet as Juliet

In 2007:

Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix

...and last but not least:

Tripoli - This is the grand epic adventure of how William Eaton (Keanu Reeves), a diplomat representing President Thomas Jefferson and the United States in North Africa, joined forces with Hamet Karamanli, the exiled heir to the throne of the Barbary Coast nation of Tripoli (now called Libya) in 1804 to overthrow a corrupt ruler (Hamet's brother) who had taken his place. Organizing a relatively small group of 500 soldiers comprised of U.S. Marines (does "to the shores of Tripoli" sound familiar?), Arabs and Greeks, Eaton successfully marched across 600 miles of desert to storm and capture the seaport of Derna in April, 1805. Eaton and his men then prepared to continue their fight all the way to the capital city of Tripoli...

(Sounds like Ishtar, only as a history instead of a comedy.)

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Poll
SucksTheMost?
Bewitched
Batman: Intimidation
Dukes of Hazard
The Shaggy Dog
The Six Million Dollar Man
Spy Hunter
The Three Stooges
XXX2
Gnomeo and Juliet

Votes: 6
Results | Other Polls

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· More on Nap Time
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Display: Sort:
Coming Repulsions | 11 comments (11 topical, 0 hidden)
I think what we all want to know is (none / 0) (#10)
by MFS on Thu Feb 12, 2004 at 01:55:58 PM GMT

when will Emma Watson be able to appear nude in a film...


When my fist clenches, crack it open, before I use it and lose my cool...



April 15, 2008 (none / 0) (#11)
by Beef on Thu Feb 12, 2004 at 03:27:27 PM GMT

/me googles for Emma Watson pics...

On second thought, hopefully never.

--
Be conservative in what you do. Be liberal in what you accept from others.
[ Parent ]



The stooges are to comedy (5.00 / 1) (#4)
by Bold Marauder on Wed Feb 11, 2004 at 08:00:41 PM GMT

What MASH was to social commentary: wishy-washy, predictable and far, far too left-leaning for any sensible person's taste.

HOWEVER, that said, if there's nudity in "bewitched", I'll happily pay up my $9.95.

--
.-=Welcome to the Vaginal Grid=-.



Nicole Kidman nudity? (none / 0) (#6)
by Beef on Thu Feb 12, 2004 at 07:47:49 AM GMT

Is there anyone really interested in Nicole Kidman nude?  Didn't we get enough of that in Eyes Wide Shut?  (Which I didn't see, so why should I be interested in Bewitched?)

--
Be conservative in what you do. Be liberal in what you accept from others.
[ Parent ]



Maybe we should recast it (5.00 / 2) (#9)
by Bold Marauder on Thu Feb 12, 2004 at 09:43:32 AM GMT

With the olson twins playing the roles of samantha and sabrina?

--
.-=Welcome to the Vaginal Grid=-.
[ Parent ]


Gnomeo and Juliet????? (none / 0) (#2)
by NerdGirl on Wed Feb 11, 2004 at 11:10:18 AM GMT

Who's bright idea was that???  It's too bad that MST3K's budget ran out.

Who's dead now?


MST3K (none / 0) (#3)
by Strom Thurmond on Wed Feb 11, 2004 at 06:53:11 PM GMT

Is the best fucking show evar!

I'm a very pretty pony!


[ Parent ]


d3wd, tvs weren't even around (5.00 / 1) (#5)
by handybundler on Thu Feb 12, 2004 at 02:58:51 AM GMT

until like a hundred years after your death, so stfu.



[ Parent ]


Scary fact: (5.00 / 2) (#7)
by Beef on Thu Feb 12, 2004 at 07:55:25 AM GMT

The generation of kids being born right now will someday, in their old age, know people who will live into the 23rd Century, look at JFK the way JFK looked at George Washington, and look back on the moon landing the way we look back on Lewis and Clark.

--
Be conservative in what you do. Be liberal in what you accept from others.
[ Parent ]



I do want to see the Harry Potter movies, (none / 0) (#1)
by xxxxxxxxxx on Tue Feb 10, 2004 at 08:26:40 PM GMT

mostly because my daughter is a huge fan of Rowlings books and loves the movies as well.  I have to admit I like them too.

The rest I am not so sure about..Pink Panther to me is left best to its original actor, hard to beat Peter Sellers.

Bewitched was my favorite television show as a child and I do not see Nicole Kidman doing a good job of being Samantha.  Elizabeth Montgomery was perfect for that role and I think it should be left alone.

Sheesh, I realize I have become so 'set' in my ways and so opinionated.  I have turned into my mother!!!  HELP!



I'm looking forward to Narnia (5.00 / 1) (#8)
by Beef on Thu Feb 12, 2004 at 08:02:59 AM GMT

The Chronicles of Narnia movies are going to make it big time, for the following reasons:

1. It's Lord of the Rings meets Harry Potter.  C.S. Lewis is about as close as you can get to Tolkien for kids.

2. Just about everyone I know, from Baby Boomers through little kids, grew up reading these books and loved them.

3. There's a huge Christian market these days.  This will be evendent when Mel Gibson's Passion opens to huge box office numbers.  The audience for the Narnia movies will be enormous, and include kids whose parents were too fundie to let them go see the Harry Potter films.

--
Be conservative in what you do. Be liberal in what you accept from others.
[ Parent ]



Coming Repulsions | 11 comments (11 topical, 0 hidden)
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