Sporks-R-Us:  Bastard Hybrid Utensil of D00M!
Front Page · Everything · News · Op/Ed · Ask A Spork · Interviews · Religion · Reviews · MLP · AK5CG · Strange · Cats · Nonsense · Fiction · Dead at 54 · The Pits of Hell · Meta · Vlad's Store · Diaries · Site News
Simon Sez ' What the F&*#k!'

EVIL
By xxxxxxxxxx, Section Fiction
Posted on Sun Oct 17, 2004 at 10:32:15 AM GMT
Simon grabbed his cup of coffee on the run as he headed for the front door.  Surely today he would be on time and miss the rush hour traffic.

dividing image



The remote to the car door sent its signal with a squawk and Simon pulled the door open.  Getting in he spilt his coffee down the front of his tie, "DAMN!" he muttered and grabbed the shimmy he used to polish his car with to blot the tie.   Thank-God it's a dark color and it won't show he sighed to himself.   Mornings were not Simon's best thing.

A lot of daydreamers become corporate slaves, simply because they would rather dream the ideas and the progressive moves to get ahead rather than apply them.  Simon was one of those; he daydreamed behind his computer screen 6 out of 9 hours a day.  One thing though, his daydreaming had made him a lot of money with the company, he just never seemed to rise any further in the ranks.  He was always going to be in the `creative' department, never the `director' of it.

Dashing through the door with just a few minutes to spare, Simon sprinted to his desk and sat down.   He had at least made it past the `big' guys office and hadn't been seen, and actually he had a minute to spare.  Maybe it would be a good day after all!

Something odd was going on and he noticed it as soon as he sat down and started to log on..........it was already up and running and everything was ready for him.  What or who had decided to do this?  Simon looked around the office but there was nobody else around.  He climbed onto his chair and looked over the cubicle...nobody in the next one, or the one after that, or the one after that one.    Where in the hell was everybody?

That was when he noticed the large, black, furry tail that was switching just outside his boss's door.   Now that's just weird.  What the hell?  As if to answer him, a long, gravely "MEOWAR" came from the area he had seen the tail.  Ok, he thought, there is a wild animal in here and nobody else is in here, they must have evacuated and I came in after they had and nobody knows I am here, but the wild animal.  Oh Great!  Just Great, and I thought it might turn out to be a good day after all?

Simon climbed down off his chair and grabbed a tissue from the box to wipe his forehead.  He was cold and sweaty and felt a bit sick.  No time for a nervous breakdown he thought, I need to keep my wits and get out of here.   How to do that without arousing the animal and getting hurt.

Suddenly a face appeared on his monitor, not a human face, but a very spectacular cat face, or more like a face of a Panther, with huge green/gold eyes and a very intent stare coming through the screen and at him.  He wondered if he were just having delusions and would come out of this soon.  Did his girlfriend put something in his coffee?  She was always using some sort of drug or another to get high; maybe she had mixed up his coffee with hers.  He closed his eyes, counted to ten, took a nice deep, cleansing breath and opened his eyes again...the Panther was still there, only this time it was looking at him with this look of annoyance that smacked of `ok, are you done now?'   Simon thought he would really just like to go back to sleep!

Panthers don't talk, but this one did, and to his credit, he sounded very much like Anthony Hopkins!  "Look Simon, I know this may be a bit of a shock to you, but I am now in charge of things and you need to calm yourself and get to work, there is much to be done!"

"Like what?" Simon blurted.  He had never taken orders from a Panther before and frankly he was beginning to wonder if this was not some huge practical joke.  
"For one, said the Panther, YOU need to get out the disk you were working on last night, the one with all the ideas about a game, you know the one, the game where Animals rule the world and Man is his slave..."

Suddenly it dawned on Simon, he had created too well.  This was the Panther from his game he had envisioned and was making plans for.  How could it have come to life?  This just doesn't happen, not in reality, does it?  But of course, it had.  The Panthers name was El Morte and he was taking over the corporation and he had eaten all the other employees, including Simons boss and was now ready to start his plan to rule everything.  It would not take him long, the game plan was pretty clever and very easy and that was the beauty of it, the only thing was...it was a game, not reality.  How could the Panther have come to life?

What Simon didn't know was that his computer was cursed by his girlfriends, girlfriend who wanted Simon to be so busy with this new creation of his, he didn't have time to come home and bother them when they were in the thralls of passion.   It would take the Panther at least 2 years to get his plan in motion and by then, Simon would have figured out a way to destroy him and the game............or would he?????

< HAPPY NEWS DAMET!!!!!!onehunderdeleven!!!!! | So this is how my tax dollars help the poor? >
Menu
· create account · faq · search · mission · topics

Login
Make a new account
Username:
Password:

Poll
Simon needs to .........
A. wake up and stop doing too much ectasy with his girlfriend it makes you hallucinate!
B. go home and have a 3some with his girlfreind and her girlfriend.
C. realize Panthers do not talk like Anthony Hopkins!!
D. Stop spending all his time behind his computer......
E. go to the bathroom, wash his face with cold water and remember not to be so pussy whipped!
F. Linda has gone completely 'LOONEY'.

Votes: 4
Results | Other Polls

Related Links
· More on EVIL
· Also by xxxxxxxxxx

Display: Sort:
Simon Sez ' What the F&*#k!' | 2 comments (2 topical, 0 hidden)
Ummmm (5.00 / 1) (#1)
by News For Turds on Mon Oct 18, 2004 at 06:11:32 AM GMT

yeah

--
I fucked your mother!



You have to understand (5.00 / 1) (#2)
by xxxxxxxxxx on Mon Oct 18, 2004 at 02:07:50 PM GMT

something here.  My dream was to write for 'Full Moon Productions' and have Bruce Campbell star in all my films!!!

Sigh, that didn't come about so I once in a while have to feed my fantasy with a little short story now and then......one that is completely out of the ordinary and somewhat funny strange.

That is just me, weird, twisted, insane..etc, etc, etc,

[ Parent ]



Simon Sez ' What the F&*#k!' | 2 comments (2 topical, 0 hidden)
Display: Sort:

SRU - Embrace the Spork! SourceForge Logo Powered by Scoop
Inspiration
"When I was crossing the border into Canada, they asked if I had any firearms with me. I said, `Well, what do you need?'"
- Steven Wright

Please buy the stuff we sell on ebay.
All trademarks and copyrights on this page are owned by their respective companies. Comments are owned by the Poster. The Rest © 2003-2006 The Management

create account | faq | search