Do foreign sporks in foreign ports get shipped as well as here in the U 'sporks' A? University of Sporks? Dr. Spock Spork raising infants with gender neutral - and oddly sinister - eating utensils.

It started at a Taco Bell meeting one night after watching that movie (something about the future with Sylvester Stallone?) where Taco Bell won the Food Wars and every restaurant - from high class to fast-food - was owned by Taco Bell. Could that actually be someone on the 'inside' (with the spork scoop) trying to let us know what's going down?

Sure, some say there isn't a spork conspiracy. Some say that sporks don't eat food, people who use sporks eat food. I'm not with this group, though. Mr. Rogers never mentioned a Spork-liker as one of his neighbors. That's good enough for me. The Mayor visited his house.

So, what-if Taco Bell is behind the spork conspiracy? What does that have to do with Spork of July festivities? you may be asking yourslef. Don't worry. I'm asking the same question. We're on the same track here.

What was the first spork? Did the spork spring forth as the idea of some inventer slash marketing genius from the 19th century as he was watering the lawn after a pub crawl? I wonder sometimes. Well, actually, that was the first time I wondered that, but luckily I was writing at the time and it was captured with words.

At least I'm not in the office -spork- space today.