A. My Hamster died and I no longer can go on with the memories that SRU represent to me of the times I spent with my Hamster. We used to plot and read together all the diary entries and stories. Ah, it was lovely. Alas, my dear Hamster is gone and life seems so dreary. I need a while to adjust and find a reason to move on.
B. SPORKS? What the hell kind of name is that? Why would anyone with an ounce of integrity or pride hang out on a blog that is 'Sporks 'R' Us? For Gods Sake, couldn't you have at least called it something more respectable? 'Trolling for Dollars' maybe, or 'Porn on a Stick', something with a little more class? I can't in good conscience stay here and be a part of this blasphemous behavior. Sign me gone.
C. It is with deep regret that I tell you that I have become deeply obsessed with Porn and must go to Porn Anonymous to seek help and become the person I once was. Not sure how long this sort of thing takes, maybe a few days, a month, a year, who knows. I must do something, nothing is the same. Sex is not the same unless my partner is lying under a piece of glass and looks digitized. As you can plainly see I need help, please keep me in your thoughts....and send nude pictures when you can.........whap, whap, whap.
Inspiration
