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My name is Vlad.
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By cyborg monkey
from the please-help-me department, Section interviews
Posted on Fri Aug 09, 2002 at 11:33:57 AM GMT
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My Name is Vlad and I am a trekoholic in recovery. My sobriety date is August 9, 2002. I am so very grateful that God has blessed me with sobriety, after so many years of unhappiness, discontentment and erectile disfunction.
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| My infatuation is pretty simple. I started watching and couldn't stop. I didn't know that I couldn't stop though. One was to many episodes and a thousand was not enough. The denial that I could possibly have a problem with Star Trek seemed beyond my imagination. I had a problem with lots of other things, people, places, and my pet monkey, but certainly not Star Trek. After all, I could stop anytime I wanted to, even though I never really tried.
So this is my story:
I was born on August 5, 1950 in San Fransico, ironically known then as the gerbil capital of the world. My father was a hamster and my mother smelled of elderberries. My father was a trekoholic and our family would be classified as being dysfunctional, our home was filled with soiled condoms and cardboard cutouts. I graduated from Hamburger University in May of 1969.
After graduation, I joined the Slashdot because I did not feel that I was mature enough to attend other blogs. There, I could talk about Star Trek, Anime and Lego Building Blocks (not Legos) without shame. I also became interesed in Linux and other homosexual OSS projects at this time.
Things were great, for a time... until I developed an open sore on the tip of my penis from rubbing it against the monitor. I realized that I was a sick bastard and I needed help.
I have seen the error of my ways, and have denounsed Slashdot, OSS and Star Trek. Please help me. Please kill Wil. |
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