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Oddly Enough - Reuters Man Jailed for Smuggling Monkeys in Pants

Down on the Farm
By spork testicle
from the Crymore? Izzat you? department, Section Strange, but - true?
Posted on Mon Dec 23, 2002 at 11:20:30 AM GMT
Customs officials opened his suitcase and a bird of paradise flew out but that was nothing compared to what they found in his pants -- a pair of pygmy monkeys.

Crymore Flunkie, were you on holiday last week?

dividing image



Californian Robert Cusack has been sentenced to 57 days in jail for trying to smuggle the monkeys, a total of four exotic birds and 50 rare orchids into Los Angeles Airport after a trip to Thailand, officials said on Thursday.

Assistant U.S. Attorney Joseph Johns said Cusack had been undergoing a routine inspection when he arrived last June until an official opened his suitcase.

"It became non-routine when they opened his luggage and a bird of paradise took off flying in the terminal," Johns said.

Johns said the agents found three more birds in his bag, tucked into nylon stockings, along with 50 orchids of a threatened species.

Asked by agents if he had anything else to tell them, Cusack responded: "Yes, I've got monkeys in my pants."

Though Cusack told authorities that he was a concerned environmentalist who had purchased the animals in Jakarta, Indonesia and was taking them to a Costa Rica wildlife sanctuary. He was arrested on smuggling charges.

Johns said that because the monkeys are listed as a threatened and endangered species in the United States, they cannot be brought into the country without special permits that are typically granted to zoos and not individuals.

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Poll
When travelin, I always make sure to bring --
A pair of pygmy monkeys in my tighties
Big sack for my mongo cuchaccas
Socks
Lots of wit and charm

Votes: 5
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Oddly Enough - Reuters Man Jailed for Smuggling Monkeys in Pants | 5 comments (5 topical, 0 hidden)
Hey Sporky! (5.00 / 1) (#4)
by xxxxxxxxxx on Mon Dec 23, 2002 at 07:32:12 PM GMT

Merry Christmas! Glad to see you posted something after such a long absence.  How are all the sailors darlin?



Sad (5.00 / 1) (#3)
by spork testicle on Mon Dec 23, 2002 at 03:59:24 PM GMT

That it has come to this. The days of orignial humoruos stories are replcaed by copiyng text from yaoho.

Crymore, in spite of the fact that you are a spineless gravy sucking whore, I hope that you have an enjoyable holiday and that no more of your offspring puncture their ears with q-tips.

(c) Sporkie, the motherfucking dawn of creation, homiez!



*yawn* (5.00 / 1) (#2)
by cyborg monkey on Mon Dec 23, 2002 at 03:53:07 PM GMT

Old news... I am dissapointed that someone did not pick up on this earlier.



An interesting coincidence (1.00 / 1) (#1)
by BiscuitsNGravy on Mon Dec 23, 2002 at 03:07:35 PM GMT

My pants contain paradise for birds[1] as well.

[1] Not the animal. The slang for hot chicks.

I thought the rule was no sig changing.



Kind sir (5.00 / 1) (#5)
by Dead Penis Bird on Tue Dec 24, 2002 at 04:18:08 AM GMT

If it's such a "paradise" for "birds", then may I stand on it?  Even if my feet are a mite chilly.

Thank you for your consideration.

If I weren't nailed to the penis, I'd be pushing up the daisies!
[ Parent ]



Oddly Enough - Reuters Man Jailed for Smuggling Monkeys in Pants | 5 comments (5 topical, 0 hidden)
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