Level: 27
Str: 12
Int: 12
Wis: 12
Dex: 17
Con: 12
Cha: 3
Alignment: True Neutral
Armor Class: 0 (not too hard, not too soft.)
Hit points: 45
Special Abilities: Flame Strike (i.e. ability to start a flame war, albeit small.)
Equipment: +1 DSL modem of speed
Typical post: 5/1/02: I hate blogs. I loathe blogs. So why am I writing a blog? THIS IS NOT A BLOG. Let's just get that straight. This is just my thoughts and may be very similar to what a lot are calling a blog, but it *isn't*.

Troll Blogger (Trollger)

Level: 62
Str: 8
Int: 2
Wis: 1
Dex: 17
Con: 18
Cha: 2
Alignment: Chaotic Evil
Armor Class: -40 (nearly indestructible little buggers.)
Hit points: 666
Special Abilities: Confusion x30/day, Chaos 9x/day, Magic Mouth 3x/day, Taunt 30x/day, Vocalize x30/day, Tongues (constant)
EQ: Boots of stealth, +1 Arrows (Flame Tongue), Scroll of Mirror Image (30), Horn of Blasting.
Typical Comment: heurgh12 responds to Life, the Universe and Everything, an analytical study of the Cosmos on September the 13th in the year 2002 at 4:45 p.m. - yur mama was a goat! ya turde!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Older Blogger (Web Logger)

Level: 101 [imp]
Str: 9
Int: 18
Wis: 18
Dex: 3
Con: 16
Cha: 14
Alignment: Chaotic Good
Armor Class: 12 (They're getting slower and are thus easier to hit.)
Hit points: 991
Special Abilities: COBOL, LISP, Assembly
EQ: Orange Tome (info-Vax), White Tome (Zen and the art of the Internet), Red Tome (Geek Code), USENET Oracle, Spectacles of True Sight, UNIVAC (Artifact)
Typical post: 4.12.2002 - 9:00 a.m. - Back in my day, we had lynx and that was it. None of these horrid pop-ups or browser wars. And we called 'em Web Logs, and we *liked* it. None of this blog crap. what's this world coming to? Why did the good old days have to go away? What of Gopher and Archie? Whatever became of them? We didn't have none of that 'you've got mail' crap either. If we wanted to find out if we had mail, we had to *work* at it - sending and receiving upstream in both directions! You 'bloggers' (ha!) could've never handled it back when the web was untouched by the whole lot of you...

Academic Blogger (AcaBlogger)

Level: 57
Str: 12
Int: 18
Wis: 4
Dex: 12
Con: 16
Cha: 10
Alignment: Lawful Evil
Armor Class: -100 (With tenure)/+50 (w/out tenure)
Hit points: 45
Special Abilities: Suggestion 3x/day, Change Self 3x/day, Fascinate 1/week
EQ: +1 Umbrella of water protection, Library card of stealth, +4 parking pass (sentient).
Typical post: Day 12, second semester, 4:45 p.m. - I found an interesting assertation that the iambic pentameter found in certain poems by (can you guess who?) is in reality meant to not be iambic pentameter, but a new form of ABABACCD, whereas before most of my colleages have claimed it to be ABABACCA. Tricky, but if you do some research on the type of lettuce sold in markets when the poem was written, it should surely make sense. Tomorrow back to Jabberwocky.

TV Blogger (TeleTogger)

Level: 12
Str: 9
Int: 9
Wis: 9
Dex: 9
Con: 9
Cha: 10
Alignment: Lawful Neutral
Armor Class: 10 (Easy to hit as they're usually on a couch with their laptop.)
Hit points: 45
Special Abilities: Stinking Cloud (often), Know Alignment (only works when judging alignment of fictional TV characters), Enhance Illusion (innate), Remove Smell
EQ: +2 Remote of Wonder (unstable), Potion of Sweet Water (2 litre),
Typical post: Episode 3, season 2, second act - Another day, another show! I watched Jerry today, of course, but kept flipping on commercials to the new Sabrina the Witch reruns. I can't wait until Duffer Muffins comes on tonight! I can't believe they are going to show that after Pals, and Cranium tonight! Must see TV is Baaaaaaacccccckkkkk B-aby! New vote on the Survivor vote update tomorrow too. Don't miss it!

Wifey blogger (Bloggey)

Level: 8
Str: 9
Int: 16
Wis: 16
Dex: 12
Con: 15
Cha: 18
Alignment: Lawful Good
Armor Class: -3 (Evasive.)
Hit points: 45
Special Abilities: Create water (especially after two pots of coffee!), Create Food x3/day, Cure Blind x1/week, Stone Skin (innate).
EQ: Tome of Oprah (5th level), Detect Lie scroll (30), Bag of holding (although the husbands sometimes hold them.)
Typical post: I think Thomas is cheating on me. I'm not sure yet, but he doesn't look at me like he looked at me last week. Something's changed. I can't quite place my finger on it yet, but when he kisses me it's like he's kissing *through* me instead of just *kissing* me, you know? Dr. Phil had some great advice today (as always!) about husbands not doing enough to try to understand. I could feel a strange empathy with Phil today. I'll explore these feelings some while making dinner (recipe here) and share it with you later so we can all grow. TaTa for now...

Sport Blogger (Splogger)

Level: 23
Str: 17
Int: 6
Wis: 12
Dex: 17
Con: 18
Cha: 9
Alignment: Neutral Evil
Armor Class: -3 (While their highschool physique has turned from mostly muscle to mostly fat, there's still a lot protecting them.)
Hit points: 290
Special Abilities: Sleep 2x/day (recite stats from 78 superbowl to invoke), resist cold (must apply bright blue and yellow paint to bare body for this to work. Oh, and scream and jump around a lot too after drinking vast quanities of stadium beer.)
EQ: Dice/knucklebones, Gauntlets of Ogre Strength, Everfull wineskin.
Typical post: Da Bulls and da Bears baby! don't talk no smack 'cause my team's on the rise in the east division fantasy league. Franky (that punk!) thinks he can take us this week, but he's got another thing coming, I tell ya, another thing! Hahahah. Ok, I gotta go look at some stats and use my secret formula for picking the winners. Til next time... Da Bulls! Hahahahahaaa

Raver Blogger (Braver)

Level: 42
Str: 9
Int: 15
Wis: 12
Dex: 19
Con: 17
Cha: 16
Alignment: Chaotic Neutral
Armor Class: -24 (They're very dextrous, quaff a lot of potions, and dance, dance, dance!)
Hit points: 87
Special Abilities: Speed x2/day (only at night with accompanying music), Chill Touch, Teleport x13/day
EQ: Boots of speed (Elvenkind), leather armor (in bright colors), Backpack of holding, various potions.
Typical post: 9:00 a.m. Just got in. Wow! Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden. MaryK picked me up in her Eclipseo around 8 last night and we went to the docks to see what was in the air. Turned out to be hippieflippin with my peepers. Ended up in the chill room for what seemed like an eternity 'cause I was time flipping in a major way. EasyTeacomb rubbed my belly, though, and I had a banana. Going to sleep now because I hear DJ trixster's got a new mix...

Gamer Blogger (Gogger)

Level: 43 (remort)
Str: 9
Int: 15
Wis: 9
Dex: 9
Con: 16
Cha: 16
Alignment: Neutral Good
Armor Class: -5 (Due to their evade skills.)
Hit points: 1203
Special Abilities: Alias command, Recall.
EQ: Deck of many things (most notably Pokemon and Magic cards), Pot Pie (32), a beastly Fido! (*tame*)
Typical post: 9:00 a.m. Dude, Deathstar12 is a s**t cause he went all PK on me today even though i was in middle of a clearly marked no-PK zone. He sacced my corpse, too, which wasn't cool as I'll have to go back to the elemental canyon (sseeeeesssueds enter) now and the ruins of thalos and oh crap, man, why'd he have to PK in a non-PK zone????!!?? That's what I'd like to know. I had 145 hours in that character and now he's just like gone and it will take at *least* 40 hours to level to where I can wield the whip of many flavors from the sewers and be able to take on the Chaos trolls east of Midgaard to get a ring of Wind again. So not fair!!! emote: waves so long...

Addendum:

For those with no D&D experience (points), here's some additional info:

STR = Strength (1 that skinny guy who got sand kicked in his face to 18 they can lift a small volkwagen.)
INT = Intelligence (1 Forrest Gump to 18 Linus Torvalds.)
WIS = Wisdom (1 Bush to 18 Solomon.)
DEX = Dexterity (1 World's Fattest Man to 18 Lisa Maree.)
CON = Constitution (1 Sickly to 18 Arnold Schwarzenegger.)
CHA = Charisma (1 Droopy Dog to 18 Bill 'I'm not lying, technically' Clinton)
Alignment - take this quiz.
AC = Armor Class (-10 Kenny to +50 naked.)

Level = amount of experience.

Hit points = how much they can endure before they pass out (lots of hit points needed to read another column like this.)

Also, no bloggers were hurt in the writing of this piece (at least not physically.)