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Where to learn things

Holy Carp! You have into the world of Sporks! Be afraid, oh so very afraid... This site runs on Scoop: scoop.kuro5hin.org. You can click on that link and become all enlightened, so that your friends will be impressed with how damn 1337 you are. For immediate help, please get the hell off the internet and go talk to a shrink. You'll thank us for it eventually. This is another paragraph. There is no real purpose for it, other than to say, "Look! More words over in that there side bar thingy! Impressive!" Other shit: Pizza is good. Buy us pizza. If you have pictures of the Olsen Twins in the nude, or especially performing lesbian acts on each other, please, for the love of god, post them here. Have you seen my toothbrush? Only you can prevent forest fires.

Poll

What should DJ Vlad name his Radio Show? Vlad's Romper Room Vlad's House of Sex Vlad's House... ON a stick! Vlad the Impala The Wacky Ravin Retro Revolving Elevated Rubber Dementia Warp Gallefreyian Particle House Reading Room Funny Name Theater with Vlad (Spork not included) Vlad Trek Vlad's Virtual Victrola Vlad's Masterworks Staked Out, with Vlad Vlad's Stake-Out! Vlad's First Victim The Big Poke Theatre Vlad's Greetings from Pikesville Vlads generic Transylvanian named show! The Show With The Ever-Changing Name The show without a name A fistful of Vlad A few Vlads more Votes: 8 | Comments: 0 Results | Other Polls

Recent Diaries

Please explain ths to me: by hotmacchick - September 27 I'm admitted to Chickenville by NerdGirl - March 5 4 comments woof by spork testes - November 20 1 comment Your attention please by News For Turds - November 6 1 comment greetings sru by m0rk - September 18 3 comments I bit my tongue by MFS - August 17 Hi by cyborg monkey - July 26 9 comments NerdGirl and I have been married... by Beef - April 14 6 comments Who in the hell is David Anderson? by Strom Thurmond - February 3 3 comments Who's online? by Beef - February 1 1 comment More Diaries...

OMG PR0N!

OMG HAWT PR0N! Imagine if you will... a world populated by only Natalie Portman, Kirsten Dunst, and umm... other hot chicks...

Man didn't take a trip after all...
By NerdGirl from the check on your neighbors department, Section News Posted on Wed Sep 01, 2004 at 07:40:46 AM GMT
The Story:  Reclusive man with MS isn't heard from for two years.  Neighbors assume he went south to escape Winnepeg's nasty winters.  But he didn't. (12 comments, 53 words in story)

Mad Mouse Disease created in lab
By NerdGirl from the only science geeks will find this interesting department, Section News Posted on Fri Jul 30, 2004 at 03:53:16 PM GMT
It appears that for the first time since they were theorized about in 1982, prions have been synthesized in the lab.   (6 comments, 152 words in story)

News For Nerds -- Makes news
By Bold Marauder from the Cum Stained Shorts Of Journalism department, Section News Posted on Sat Jul 17, 2004 at 02:33:27 PM GMT
as seen on the yahoo story Slashdot Down for Service (as well as numerous 503 errors.) Steven J. Vaughan-Nichols - eWEEK Linux (news - web sites) and open-source fans throughout the world got a shock on Friday night (U.S. Eastern Time) to find that Slashdot, the IT news, gossip and chat site, was apparently offline. Attempts to reach the wildly popular site were greeted with a HTTP 503--Service Unavailable Error--message. (3 comments, 321 words in story)

Found! The longest bird penis ever (w/ pics)
By dirtyhippy42, Section News Posted on Wed Jul 14, 2004 at 07:31:07 AM GMT
North American scientists have discovered the longest bird penis ever - a 42.5cm organ belonging to a duck. (2 comments, 434 words in story)

Beam Me Up Scotty!
By xxxxxxxxxx, Section News Posted on Fri Jul 09, 2004 at 09:19:52 PM GMT
James M. Doohan has Alzheimers. (2 comments, 150 words in story)

You red it hear frist!
By Beef from the SCOOP! department, Section News Posted on Fri Jul 09, 2004 at 09:18:37 PM GMT
Teh NY POST is sooo teh accyerate! (2 comments, 8 words in story)

Olsen
By Marco from the ohhhhhaaaaaaaa department, Section News Posted on Tue Jul 06, 2004 at 03:36:54 AM GMT
It's weird that nobody mentioned that the Olsen Twins are legal. Don't you want to screw them anymore? (5 comments)

News quickies
By Beef from the ABCBNBCNNFOX News department, Section News Posted on Thu Jun 24, 2004 at 01:19:44 PM GMT
I should watch the news more often: AOL: "You've got spam!" Future Strong-Man Competition Winner Born in Germany And in the most shocking news story of the century, Mary-Kate Olsen is being treated for anorexia. (2 comments)

Olsen Twins, and losers, lead 'most beautiful' list
By Bold Marauder from the Age Of Bliss Is Drawing Closer department, Section News Posted on Thu Apr 29, 2004 at 07:18:35 PM GMT
as seen on yahoo NEW YORK - Couples rule People magazine's list of "The 50 Most Beautiful People in the World 2004," with cover girl Jennifer Aniston (news) and her husband, Brad Pitt (news), among them. click below for: (10 comments, 279 words in story)

First ever practical application of Timecube science
By Beef from the we look for thing to make us go department, Section News Posted on Mon Apr 19, 2004 at 01:43:02 PM GMT
Now available in Japan: Cooling Cube. This beer dispenser works by "creat[ing] a healing time and space beyond reality." I assume the Cooling Cube is able to "tap into" the Timecube's extra 3 24-hour days to create its healing time. (3 comments, 97 words in story)

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