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Where to learn things

Holy Carp! You have into the world of Sporks! Be afraid, oh so very afraid... This site runs on Scoop: scoop.kuro5hin.org. You can click on that link and become all enlightened, so that your friends will be impressed with how damn 1337 you are. For immediate help, please get the hell off the internet and go talk to a shrink. You'll thank us for it eventually. This is another paragraph. There is no real purpose for it, other than to say, "Look! More words over in that there side bar thingy! Impressive!" Other shit: Pizza is good. Buy us pizza. If you have pictures of the Olsen Twins in the nude, or especially performing lesbian acts on each other, please, for the love of god, post them here. Have you seen my toothbrush? Only you can prevent forest fires.

Poll

What should DJ Vlad name his Radio Show? Vlad's Romper Room Vlad's House of Sex Vlad's House... ON a stick! Vlad the Impala The Wacky Ravin Retro Revolving Elevated Rubber Dementia Warp Gallefreyian Particle House Reading Room Funny Name Theater with Vlad (Spork not included) Vlad Trek Vlad's Virtual Victrola Vlad's Masterworks Staked Out, with Vlad Vlad's Stake-Out! Vlad's First Victim The Big Poke Theatre Vlad's Greetings from Pikesville Vlads generic Transylvanian named show! The Show With The Ever-Changing Name The show without a name A fistful of Vlad A few Vlads more Votes: 8 | Comments: 0 Results | Other Polls

Recent Diaries

Please explain ths to me: by hotmacchick - September 27 I'm admitted to Chickenville by NerdGirl - March 5 4 comments woof by spork testes - November 20 1 comment Your attention please by News For Turds - November 6 1 comment greetings sru by m0rk - September 18 3 comments I bit my tongue by MFS - August 17 Hi by cyborg monkey - July 26 9 comments NerdGirl and I have been married... by Beef - April 14 6 comments Who in the hell is David Anderson? by Strom Thurmond - February 3 3 comments Who's online? by Beef - February 1 1 comment More Diaries...

OMG PR0N!

OMG HAWT PR0N! Imagine if you will... a world populated by only Natalie Portman, Kirsten Dunst, and umm... other hot chicks...

inspiration
By Bold Marauder from the snake dance department, Section Complete and Total Nonsense Posted on Sat Apr 30, 2005 at 11:11:32 PM GMT
Every morning, I get up and look through the 'Forbes' list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there.... (4 comments, 22 words in story)

Meetup.com wants to meet your wallet
By Reza, Section Complete and Total Nonsense Posted on Wed Apr 13, 2005 at 12:26:30 PM GMT
If you are a lurker, member or group organizer of a meetup.com group (ok mostly the organizer assuming he can get it back from the group), they want to pick your pockets to use their service. Big group? Small group? Virtual group? Evvvvvvvvvvveryone pays to "meetup". See here for their cheery announcement: http://www.meetup.com/changes/ My suggestion would be to try http://www.evite.com/ It's free, suggests places to meet, it's free, and most importantly....it's free! (8 comments, 96 words in story)

SRU - the last bastion of sanity on a web gone mad!
By Bold Marauder from the april fools stopped being funny when I was ten department, Section Complete and Total Nonsense Posted on Fri Apr 01, 2005 at 03:39:00 AM GMT
SRU Will not post 'fake news' (ZOMG MICROSOFT BOUGHT LINUX HUR HUR HUR) stories Will not post the same story 80 times ...in short; does not care what the day on the calendar is (45 words in story)

From the Hallways of Home to School Shootings in the Hallways
By m0rk from the wake-up and smell the eye make-up department, Section Complete and Total Nonsense Posted on Thu Mar 24, 2005 at 09:45:09 PM GMT
alright, after reading this short diary entry, and, against my better judgement, i went cruising around the internet looking for clues, or, more information perhaps, on this recent school shooting event. poke around this horribly designed, red-and-black piece of future-school-shooting/murder-evidence, and tell me the overly pierced youth of today have a solid grip on reality. (8 comments, 581 words in story)

New Minnesota State Quarter
By Beef from the land of 10,000 labs department, Section Complete and Total Nonsense Posted on Thu Mar 24, 2005 at 09:44:53 PM GMT
Seems they didn't like the design I submitted, consisting of a group of children playing "Duck Duck Grey Duck" in the foreground, and a meth lab in the background. (1 comment)

So you think you know english?
By Bold Marauder from the did u tak him 2 da bar| department, Section Complete and Total Nonsense Posted on Mon Mar 14, 2005 at 09:28:26 PM GMT
If you've learned to speak fluent English, you must be a genius! This little treatise on the lovely language we share is only for the brave. Something to think about, English lovers: (7 comments, 593 words in story)

PILOT ERROR?
By Reza from the Now I've Heard It All department, Section Complete and Total Nonsense Posted on Tue Oct 26, 2004 at 06:50:35 PM GMT
Pilot Error Blamed for Flight 587 Crash? "American Airlines Flight 587 lost its tail and plummeted into a New York City neighborhood in November 2001, killing 265 people, because the co-pilot improperly used the rudder to try to steady the plane, federal safety investigators ruled Tuesday." Who's smokin' the crack?? (12 comments, 311 words in story)

Nov 2nd, just around the corner
By xxxxxxxxxx, Section Complete and Total Nonsense Posted on Tue Sep 28, 2004 at 08:00:24 PM GMT
With the election being a month away and all the frou-frou, nose hair picking that the candidates have done so far about their mutual armed service records........makes one wonder if we have really even had a chance to pick a solid candidate for either party. (16 comments, 510 words in story)

I got tired of google caches redirecting on me...
By Beef from the Perl-facilitated Evil department, Section Complete and Total Nonsense Posted on Thu Sep 02, 2004 at 09:11:15 PM GMT
I got very tired of trying to view google-cached documents with cutesy little client-side scripts that would re-direct the browser to the "live" page.  Especially when the cached document contains a very useful forum post that no longer exists, or requires a registration in order to view.  Sooooo... I took about 15 minutes out of my busy day to bang out a perl app that kills all script tags in any document: (4 comments, 196 words in story)

Bea Arthur: Badass Terrorist Superbitch
By Beef from the bomb bomb bomb ba-bomb bomb ba-bomb department, Section Complete and Total Nonsense Posted on Fri Aug 27, 2004 at 09:05:37 AM GMT
Former Golden Girls star Bea Arthur tried to board a plane carrying a pocket knife. When agents discovered her knife, the 81-year-old actress claimed that "the terorists" put it there, threw a keyring, also belonging to "the terrorists" at the TSA agents, and, when boarding the plane, announced to everyone there, "We're all doomed." (12 comments)

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