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Holy Carp! You have into the world of Sporks! Be afraid, oh so very afraid... This site runs on Scoop: scoop.kuro5hin.org. You can click on that link and become all enlightened, so that your friends will be impressed with how damn 1337 you are. For immediate help, please get the hell off the internet and go talk to a shrink. You'll thank us for it eventually. This is another paragraph. There is no real purpose for it, other than to say, "Look! More words over in that there side bar thingy! Impressive!" Other shit: Pizza is good. Buy us pizza. If you have pictures of the Olsen Twins in the nude, or especially performing lesbian acts on each other, please, for the love of god, post them here. Have you seen my toothbrush? Only you can prevent forest fires.

Poll

What should DJ Vlad name his Radio Show? Vlad's Romper Room Vlad's House of Sex Vlad's House... ON a stick! Vlad the Impala The Wacky Ravin Retro Revolving Elevated Rubber Dementia Warp Gallefreyian Particle House Reading Room Funny Name Theater with Vlad (Spork not included) Vlad Trek Vlad's Virtual Victrola Vlad's Masterworks Staked Out, with Vlad Vlad's Stake-Out! Vlad's First Victim The Big Poke Theatre Vlad's Greetings from Pikesville Vlads generic Transylvanian named show! The Show With The Ever-Changing Name The show without a name A fistful of Vlad A few Vlads more Votes: 8 | Comments: 0 Results | Other Polls

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US Constitution: Don't Bother Sending Flowers, It Is Already Buried
By l33t j03, Section Dead at 54 Posted on Thu Jun 23, 2005 at 08:13:27 PM GMT
Buried (10 comments, 224 words in story)

U.S. Constitution: Dead at 218
By Beef from the Jumping-James-Madison-On-Pogo-Stick-WTF? department, Section Dead at 54 Posted on Tue Jun 07, 2005 at 03:01:07 PM GMT
I don't really care one way or another about medical marijuana. However: "Production of the commodity meant for consumption, be it wheat or marijuana, has a substantial effect on supply and demand for the national market for that commodity," Judge Stevens wrote. (17 comments, 226 words in story)

The Riddler, dead at 72
By Reza from the another one bites the dust department, Section Dead at 54 Posted on Wed May 18, 2005 at 11:00:57 AM GMT
Adam West's Batman will no longer have his nemesis, the Riddler to kick around.  The man who played the Riddler from 1966-1969, Frank Gorshin, is dead at 72. (3 comments, 333 words in story)

The Pope is Dead
By Reza, Section Dead at 54 Posted on Mon Apr 04, 2005 at 03:12:07 AM GMT
The pope is dead. If you hadn't seen a tv, newspaper or internet-connected computer or hadn't listened to a radio in about 4 days, this would be news. To those of you alive and connected, you already knew this. I'm not giving you a link to any story...find it yourself. Most news sites has 10 stories about him at the top of the queue. (18 comments)

Great Scott! John DeLorean Dead at 80!
By Beef from the the-future-is-yesterday department, Section Dead at 54 Posted on Mon Mar 21, 2005 at 10:10:44 PM GMT
Had it not been for his legal problems, we'd probably have flying cars by now. (1 comment)

RIP: Bubba the Lobster
By MFS from the couldn't even make it into the pot first department, Section Dead at 54 Posted on Thu Mar 03, 2005 at 10:49:16 AM GMT
Today is a sad day, as people everywhere are mourning the death of Bubba the 20 pound lobster.  The gargantuan oceanic bottom feeder kicked the bucket en-route to a new home, where he was hoping to meet his long-time hero, Jack Palance.  A spokesman for Red Lobster said, "Dang, that would have been some good eatin'!" Bubba is survived by his 36 wives and apporximately 1200 children.  The family asks that in lieu of flowers, you all eat crab today instead. (6 comments)

Pre-Emptive Deathwatch '05
By m0rk from the envy teh blingin' neckwear department, Section Dead at 54 Posted on Fri Feb 25, 2005 at 10:53:16 AM GMT
P JPII - pope jah nizzle deuce. breathing, but for how long? Now, back to you Vlad. (3 comments, 52 words in story)

Just announced, the 'Dead at 54' section dead at 54...
By Vladinator, Section Dead at 54 Posted on Wed Feb 23, 2005 at 10:22:39 AM GMT
Wow, it seems we are too lazy to even post obits anymore. Anyone interested in keeping the site up? Should I just shut it down? (10 comments)

Can't get away from Sammy! :-(
By Beef from the Cork futures just went up in Baltimore department, Section Dead at 54 Posted on Mon Jan 31, 2005 at 06:12:14 AM GMT
I'm glad that my favorite NL team is dumping Sosa. Unfortunately, they are dumping him on my favorite AL team. (4 comments)

Jerry Orbach dead at 69
By Vladinator from the Butt Cancer department, Section Dead at 54 Posted on Wed Dec 29, 2004 at 09:15:00 AM GMT
Actor Jerry Orbach, best known for his long-running role as New York police detective Lennie Briscoe on "Law & Order," has died. He was 69. (2 comments, 205 words in story)

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