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Where to learn things

Holy Carp! You have into the world of Sporks! Be afraid, oh so very afraid... This site runs on Scoop: scoop.kuro5hin.org. You can click on that link and become all enlightened, so that your friends will be impressed with how damn 1337 you are. For immediate help, please get the hell off the internet and go talk to a shrink. You'll thank us for it eventually. This is another paragraph. There is no real purpose for it, other than to say, "Look! More words over in that there side bar thingy! Impressive!" Other shit: Pizza is good. Buy us pizza. If you have pictures of the Olsen Twins in the nude, or especially performing lesbian acts on each other, please, for the love of god, post them here. Have you seen my toothbrush? Only you can prevent forest fires.

Poll

What should DJ Vlad name his Radio Show? Vlad's Romper Room Vlad's House of Sex Vlad's House... ON a stick! Vlad the Impala The Wacky Ravin Retro Revolving Elevated Rubber Dementia Warp Gallefreyian Particle House Reading Room Funny Name Theater with Vlad (Spork not included) Vlad Trek Vlad's Virtual Victrola Vlad's Masterworks Staked Out, with Vlad Vlad's Stake-Out! Vlad's First Victim The Big Poke Theatre Vlad's Greetings from Pikesville Vlads generic Transylvanian named show! The Show With The Ever-Changing Name The show without a name A fistful of Vlad A few Vlads more Votes: 6 | Comments: 0 Results | Other Polls

Recent Diaries

Please explain ths to me: by hotmacchick - September 27 I'm admitted to Chickenville by NerdGirl - March 5 4 comments woof by spork testes - November 20 1 comment Your attention please by News For Turds - November 6 1 comment greetings sru by m0rk - September 18 3 comments I bit my tongue by MFS - August 17 Hi by cyborg monkey - July 26 9 comments NerdGirl and I have been married... by Beef - April 14 6 comments Who in the hell is David Anderson? by Strom Thurmond - February 3 3 comments Who's online? by Beef - February 1 1 comment More Diaries...

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OMG HAWT PR0N! Imagine if you will... a world populated by only Natalie Portman, Kirsten Dunst, and umm... other hot chicks...

International Issues
By dirtyhippy42 from the international edition department, Section Ask a Spork Posted on Wed Nov 01, 2006 at 12:06:23 PM GMT
English is not my native language so I was wondering if you sporks could help me. What does "Chuck and buck suck and fuck" mean? (2 comments)

Ultimate Theorem to a Buddhist Mathematician
By spork testes from the Spork Testicle department, Section Ask a Spork Posted on Tue Oct 10, 2006 at 09:09:55 PM GMT
The Dali Lemma (1 comment)

Recent Vandalism
By Vladinator, Section Ask a Spork Posted on Tue Jan 03, 2006 at 04:05:07 PM GMT
Given the recent vandalism of this site by a previously trusted admin, I've decided to shut this down. No one is using it anymore. The domain is for sale if anyone wants it. [editor's note, by Reza] I fixed your spelling. (11 comments, 83 words in story)

Slashdot - The World's Least Finest News Source
By dirtyhippy42 from the Window Licking department, Section Ask a Spork Posted on Wed Oct 26, 2005 at 09:21:45 PM GMT
Slashdot editor ScuttleMonkey posted today that scientists have developed a car that produces its own fuel. I read this while I ate my daily regiment of plankton this morning and nearly shit my pants. (53 words in story)

There are some subjects you simply DON'T troll about
By Bold Marauder from the gotta be but what? department, Section Ask a Spork Posted on Thu Jun 23, 2005 at 04:57:16 AM GMT
I have no idea what those things might be. (3 comments, 25 words in story)

Furnace vs. Air Conditioner
By dirtyhippy42, Section Ask a Spork Posted on Tue Jun 21, 2005 at 10:00:14 AM GMT
I've always been a very curious person. I will lay awake at night in an insomnic daze and have thoughts such as "If Michael Jackson and Mike Tyson got into a fight, who would win?" But tonight a very profound question came to mind... (5 comments, 70 words in story)

We have a new topic.
By Vladinator, Section Ask a Spork Posted on Mon Jun 06, 2005 at 07:07:17 PM GMT
It's a Vampires section. Now, perhaps we'll be more Goth. Has anyone seen my Cure CD? (4 comments)

I demand an explanation
By Bold Marauder from the skank ho department, Section Ask a Spork Posted on Fri Apr 15, 2005 at 06:58:53 AM GMT
All over the internet, everyone is going on about paris hilton. All over the press, we're told everyone is ga-ga for paris hilton However, how can this be; when in truth... (7 comments, 39 words in story)

l33t j03, was taht you??
By Beef from the three days early department, Section Ask a Spork Posted on Thu Mar 17, 2005 at 03:16:48 PM GMT
What impresses me about this story is not that a cop was busted for DUIing his unmarked squad car. Or that he was busted again later that day in his own car. It's the fact that he blew a 0.29, then five hours later, blew a 0.25. To keep that kind of a buzz on, after getting arrested, takes effing DEDICATION. He should be made Wisconsin's next attorney general. (3 comments)

I want a cat
By dirtyhippy42, Section Ask a Spork Posted on Thu Jan 27, 2005 at 01:21:25 PM GMT
I really want a cat. I need something to pet, stroke, and smell. I want to see a slinky creature meander around my appartment. I went to the animal shelter the other day but all their pets were pretty inexpensive. I'd imagine if I were to pay $400 for a cat it would be of higher quality. For instance, a better meow, longer tail, and softer fur. Does anyone know of where to find a good cat that is needle drug-free? (9 comments)

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