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Holy Carp! You have into the world of Sporks! Be afraid, oh so very afraid... This site runs on Scoop: scoop.kuro5hin.org. You can click on that link and become all enlightened, so that your friends will be impressed with how damn 1337 you are. For immediate help, please get the hell off the internet and go talk to a shrink. You'll thank us for it eventually. This is another paragraph. There is no real purpose for it, other than to say, "Look! More words over in that there side bar thingy! Impressive!" Other shit: Pizza is good. Buy us pizza. If you have pictures of the Olsen Twins in the nude, or especially performing lesbian acts on each other, please, for the love of god, post them here. Have you seen my toothbrush? Only you can prevent forest fires.

Poll

What should DJ Vlad name his Radio Show? Vlad's Romper Room Vlad's House of Sex Vlad's House... ON a stick! Vlad the Impala The Wacky Ravin Retro Revolving Elevated Rubber Dementia Warp Gallefreyian Particle House Reading Room Funny Name Theater with Vlad (Spork not included) Vlad Trek Vlad's Virtual Victrola Vlad's Masterworks Staked Out, with Vlad Vlad's Stake-Out! Vlad's First Victim The Big Poke Theatre Vlad's Greetings from Pikesville Vlads generic Transylvanian named show! The Show With The Ever-Changing Name The show without a name A fistful of Vlad A few Vlads more Votes: 6 | Comments: 0 Results | Other Polls

Recent Diaries

Please explain ths to me: by hotmacchick - September 27 I'm admitted to Chickenville by NerdGirl - March 5 4 comments woof by spork testes - November 20 1 comment Your attention please by News For Turds - November 6 1 comment greetings sru by m0rk - September 18 3 comments I bit my tongue by MFS - August 17 Hi by cyborg monkey - July 26 9 comments NerdGirl and I have been married... by Beef - April 14 6 comments Who in the hell is David Anderson? by Strom Thurmond - February 3 3 comments Who's online? by Beef - February 1 1 comment More Diaries...

OMG PR0N!

OMG HAWT PR0N! Imagine if you will... a world populated by only Natalie Portman, Kirsten Dunst, and umm... other hot chicks...

Jimmy Kimmel is God
By Vladinator, Section Attack of the K5 Cock Goblins Posted on Sun Dec 24, 2006 at 09:18:52 PM GMT
(8 comments)

What the phuck new line?
By spork testes from the Spork Testicle department, Section Attack of the K5 Cock Goblins Posted on Tue Nov 21, 2006 at 04:47:47 PM GMT
those bitches shut out Jackson from the hobbit. Now I dont think the last movie was perfect, but it coulda been a hell of a lot worse. Why the hell didnt he squeeze tom in there with the stretchy ring? Anyway, look for some dumbass (shudder ... Lucas ... shudder) to direct the hobbit. (1 comment)

Blatently stolen from K5...
By Vladinator from the Scot department, Section Attack of the K5 Cock Goblins Posted on Wed May 24, 2006 at 01:19:10 PM GMT
Here is the best reason EVAR to allow images in comments: (1 comment, 14 words in story)

Attention Sand Negros!
By Vladinator, Section Attack of the K5 Cock Goblins Posted on Sun Feb 05, 2006 at 02:44:43 PM GMT
Suck it! (5 comments, 19 words in story)

Airline Pilot
By dirtyhippy42 from the dirtyhippy42 department, Section Attack of the K5 Cock Goblins Posted on Sat Jul 23, 2005 at 10:44:58 AM GMT
In today's LSD-infused cleaning frenzie I ran across my dad's old Cessna Pilot Traning Kit. (2 comments, 225 words in story)

Canadian aboriginal groups are offended by the Vancouver 2010 logo
By Beef from the graphic farts department, Section Attack of the K5 Cock Goblins Posted on Tue May 03, 2005 at 02:20:45 PM GMT
For some reason, Native groups in British Columbia are offended by the new logo of the 2010 Winter Games: (12 comments, 28 words in story)

Spyware ads pop up tubgirl.com
By dirtyhippy42, Section Attack of the K5 Cock Goblins Posted on Sat Mar 12, 2005 at 08:41:26 PM GMT
What do you do when you purchase 2000 full page views from a spyware vendor and it becomes apparent after 200 sessions that everyone is just closing the window and not surfing around your site or buying things? Well here at FunkyRibbons we decided to redirect all traffic from that advertisement to http://www.tubgirl.com. Problem solved! (3 comments)

So.
By Bold Marauder from the huuuhuuuhuuuu department, Section Attack of the K5 Cock Goblins Posted on Thu Dec 02, 2004 at 04:00:18 PM GMT
...there I was, sitting at home minding my own business. (3 comments)

New "Sperm Vaccine" Tested on Monkeys
By Beef from the scrolling politics off of the front page department, Section Attack of the K5 Cock Goblins Posted on Fri Nov 12, 2004 at 05:06:52 PM GMT
Researchers are testing a non-hormonal, injected, male contraception on monkeys. The injection causes the body's immune system to attack its own sperm. This could actually reach market before my wife starts menopause! No indication yet as to whether any of the monkeys were cyborgs. (3 comments)

I want a Free Ipod!
By Vladinator, Section Attack of the K5 Cock Goblins Posted on Thu Sep 09, 2004 at 02:31:58 PM GMT
PLEASE help me get a Free Ipod! I need this Ipod! I do not want to pay for the Ipod! So please help me get the Ipod - free! Then, YOU can get a free Ipod! Spam is a small price to pay for a Free 20 Gb Ipod! Thank you! I will stop shouting now! (4 comments)

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